The Dwarf with the Staff

To my loyal fans i have only this to say "remember the name of my blog"

Well our two lords did set out slow and steady with a firm view of staking out the land but very soon an interesting conversation combined with an apalling sense of direction found our great crusaders totally and flabbergastingly lost.. Undaunted the two of them said lets go "Right.." said Philip and "Left.." said Sloth.

They decided to toss..But the decision was made for them by a higher authority.. Thats right a trumpeting troll came hurtling through the left and our wise lords who were firm beleivers of the saying discretion is the better part of valour fled to the right..


Now our heroes were none too used to physical exertion.. (They usually relied on their not inconsiderable er.. wits to deal with (squirm out of) any given situation..) ..Both of them collapsed panting after a few minutes of running full tilt..Then we turned the pages of our copies of the Hitchhiker's and this was the entry :

"When faced with a being more than twice your size run..If in the jungles of Bang WATCH OUT for the Dwarf With The Staff"

While Lord sloth was perplexedly pondering over the meaning of this weird passage (the hitchhikers is not easily comprehensible to mere mortals..even experts like sloth took a while to grasp the full meaning), lord Philip proving himself a true leader of men spoke thus
"I smell food a few furlongs to the north.."

(Note to the reader :Lord Philip has the uncanny ability to sniff food a mile away and despite his total lack of any sense of direction he can usually lead you to the source of the smell)

The valiant lords thus set forth guided by Philip's nose.. They came upon a clearing which was crowded with many stalls offering all kinds of goods (and no one to man them)..Naturally our heroes first sated their hunger and thirst.. Then they went about leisurely picking out
such glorious items such as an invisibility cloak generator, guide to survival in bang etc when a fierce thumping noise caused them to turn back in alarm.. They could see nothing but suddenly a voice roared below them "How dare you trespass on my land, eat my food and steal my treasures?"

Lord Philip being the fast one was quick to put two and two together and exclaimed "Why ,you are the dwarf with the staff !!". The creature roared "You have defiled my land and you are bloody well going to pay for it." This was a boon for our lord Sloth was an expert at negotioations.. The bargaining process began.. The dwarf ranted and raved punctuating his more hysterical outbursts by thumping his staff violently on the ground..But all to no avail.. Lord Sloth being a pastmaster at this art soon convinced him to part with the invisibility cloak generator and everything else they took for a paltry sum..

Beaming at their success our crusaders went forth and as was their wont they promptly lost their way. While deliberating which way to go our heroes suddenly realised they had nothing in their hands..All that they had acquired had disappeared without a trace!! They quickly riffled thru the pages of the ever changing hitchhikers to find the followin entry
"NEVER BUY ANYTHING FROM A DWARF WITH A STAFF.. HE WILL ROB YOU BLIND AND HAVE A GOOD LAUGH LATER"

Even now after so many years our heroes still recall the dwarf with a staff with respect (the only crook to have so totally hoodwinked them)..

The dwarf suddenly materialised laughed uproariously at our woeful expressions and handed us a map of bang..Then he slowly dissapeared bit by bit and the last they saw of him was his grinning teeth(reminds you of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland eh.. i always was a fan of Lewis Carrol)


Now the sounds of the dwarf's laughter filling their ears they returned pockets emptier, wiser and none the worse for their experience and as was their wont collapsed into a dreamless daze...

(BOOK TWO OF THIS SERIES REFERS TO THEIR ADVENTURES OF THE NEXT DAY.. MY FANS WILL HAVE TO BEAR WITH ME WHILE I RECOLLECT WHAT HAPPENED.. LIKE I HAVE SAID BEFORE THAT'S ANOTHER STORY.. IN THE MEANTIME WATCH THIS SPACE)